Ask Aunty (Spring 2017, Jan 30)

Q. My roommate is nice but is super loud! How do I nicely tell her to STFU?

- Twisted Sista

A. There are a couple ways you can go about this. You can be super direct next time she’s super loud by saying that sometimes you just need her to be a little quieter than she normally is because it’s distracting to you, or (insert your reason here). You could also offer to compromise by asking to have a sit-down talk and be willing to hear them out about qualms they may have with you and potential solutions to that, and they should be willing to do the same when it’s your turn to express how you’re feeling. For me, the latter would be my first choice. If you choose to go the first way, you may seem like you’re being snappy and the other person may feel attacked, whereas the second way offers a little bit of breathing room for the both of you. Just remember that you need to remain calm in either situation, so as not to escalate anything, or ruin what you have between you and your roommate.

Q. I have a huge crush on my professor, what do I do?

-Anonymous

A. NOTHING! At least not this semester anyway, or if you have to take another class with said professor. If someone finds out you’re having relations with the professor, and you pass the class, everyone will think the professor gave you special treatment which if someone goes and talks to someone about that, it could potentially harm their career. Also, if a relationship does form between the two of you, and things go sour, they might fail you just out of spite. The safest route would be to wait until the semester is over, then pursue them if you still feel the same - and, of course, make sure to not take any of their classes in the future. (The best way to do this is just wait until graduation. Trust me.)

Q. Why are there no black people in Hawai‘i?

-Dark Chocolate

A. Well, Dark Chocolate, I may not have the perfect answer for you, but be assured that there are other black people here in the islands. You just have to find a way to put yourself out there in order to find them. Maybe you can do that by forming a club, or joining one that already exists. In any event, you aren’t alone.

Q. Where do all the girls find jeans that make their butt look incredible?

-Saggy Ass

A. Damn gurl, I wish I knew myself. I know Amazon has all these weird booty contraptions that look incredibly uncomfortable. If you want to give those a try, they might have you feeling like this deer in the link: https://youtu.be/TAZYqXwW5lA

Good luck, though! I wish you the best in your endeavors. Also, let me know what you find ;)